I’ve been having technical difficulties and thought that if I denied them a bit longer while away, they would somehow be easier to face upon my return.
I had an entirely different blog post in mind today. An important one. One that is already written in my head, ready in its completion and clarity, to take over the page and be released from my head and heart.
But my Windows has disappeared from my laptop. Or else it has gone into hiding. It has locked me out, telling me my password, the one I’ve used for the past several years now, is incorrect.
I am told I should download Windows 10. And I will, as soon as I figure out how. Today.
In the meantime, I could use Libre, even though I don’t like it, except that my pictures aren’t there.
Also, I sent my new photos from my phone to my email. But when I go to my email, the photo aren’t there.
Apparently my phone is taking a vacation too. Or maybe it’s my email that has quit functioning normally. I’m not sure yet.
First world problems, I know.
It is like losing our health and then realizing we took it for granted. Only it’s much less important than health, just more irritating. It’s only technology. But oh how we need it now.
Technology problems feel like car problems to me. Never am I more like a damsel in distress than with cars or technology. I want to be rescued. I want it fixed and fixed now by someone who is not me.
I have no desire for anything fancy with cars or computers or phones. All I require is that they function. All I want is something that won’t fail me. Just a tool. That’s all. No more and no less.
I love technology. I hate technology. I really should just figure out what is going on and fix it. Or ask for help. But instead my heart races, really races, more than it does when I’ve simply had a bit too much caffeine.
It races so much, into my throat, that I have to lie down.
Is it the caffeine, the one cup of coffee I had this morning?
Or is it techno- stress?
My God, did I just have a panic attack over technology?
Help me. Technology has knocked me down and I don’t know how to get up.
I am getting up.
And I am facing the techno demons that are haunting me, taunting me. Maybe it will be as simple as updating and downloading. Or maybe it will gobble up half a day and all my patience and make my head spin.
But I will not be kept down. My words will not be stifled. I am a big girl. I am not a helpless girl. Not a defeated girl. And I have something else to write. Something to say.